My experience during pregnancy was nothing much special. However, there are many things happened along the way, which I believe should be shared. Therefore, it could become a reminder to others (moms and dads) and not to repeat my mistakes and be ready with what is necessary.
Well, to be understood better, let me share with you how I experienced my first pregnancy. It was the most significant lesson for my husband and me too. I was married at the age of 25. I supposed that was an achievement that I have made in life.
Alhamdulillah, it was such a great blessing that my parents agreed (after few rounds of discussion) to let me married to a man with an existing family with 4 children. They lost their mother who was very strong fighting cancer.
At that time of my marriage, it was the season when many of my friends, at similar age got married too. A few months down the road, I was a little pressured when my friends started to spread good news about their pregnancy.
Having an experienced husband, I was being advised to be patience, enjoy life and not to think too much about getting my first baby. It was in year 2003 when I was confirmed with my pregnancy.
It was not really such a good experience for my baby. As a stepmother, I was too much engrossed to be and trying to show how good and caring am I as a mother.
Which in reality, I just can be a good and nice person but will never be able to replace anyone else’s mother. I was worried if I could not be the best stepmother for my children, to the point that I found myself trying too hard of doing something which I should not be doing.
This experience lead me to be come quite stressful and I become reserved and spend quite sometime sitting on my bed, in my room, alone. I was crying almost every other day. I have to keep myself calm with food. And the worst was it either fast food or junk food.
My husband was quite excited about the baby but do not show much of his emotion. Furthermore, I am fully aware and understood that he was working much harder in order to meet the needs of the family. He was always being positive and believed that each child is written with a good chapter of journey destined in life by god.
When it comes closer to the day, I was still in a very energetic condition. I even managed to do things on my own when my maid went off for weekend holiday. In October 2003, 13th was the date expected for my baby to see the world. I was nervous and at the same time excited.
Set in my mind, I will be all right as I had a husband who had experienced with 4 babies much earlier. I know I will be in a good hand. However, on the 4th October, I feel uneasy and started to find that white liquid is coming out every time I move about actively. In a day, I can feel the pain at least 2 times.
Well at that time, little that I knew it was my water bag, which actually started to leak. The situation continues the next day. As my husband keep asking how did I feel, he himself was quite confident that he knew it was not the time yet.
Furthermore, I was quite sure myself that the baby is not due yet. On top of that I let my maid have another weekend holiday.