As they busy playing with each other, I wonder how could I possibly forget on the day I delivered my babies? 5 of them.
The moment when I feel scared and happy. Pain and hurt, it is all for a baby. The smile and concern from a hubby, after each delivery with a heart filled with joy, which I could always see. Each and every time a baby delivered, the joy and happiness with worries and hope compounded.
I am not able to recall, how could I be so determine to be with my 5 children since year 2003 and now at the age of 35. Many told me (including my doctor), that I am still young and will be able to go through the journey with a great energy to raise my children.
However, as I look into the current scenario and the current lifestyle, I know it is going to be tough. It does not only require physical energy, but most importantly a great mind and emotion synergy.
Day by day, each minute must be cherished. Every moment is a great journey and memory to remember. Each child grows differently with the family. The path and journey is still at the beginning. It could be a long and challenging road that we need to take. But, one thing for real, life need to be lived!
A real life of a human is nothing without the true understanding of life with faith. As children asked what TAQWA is, many find it difficult to answer.
They choose to explain it in Malay, as they thought that the children will understand better, in their own language. But being children today, they are sometime smarter or actually we as adult are not yet the master.
It is difficult to explain when children asked, where is Allah. It is challenging when they asked ‘why’ for many things that we as adult thought we understand and it is nothing. Suddenly, we realized that as an adult, we have taken so many thing for granted.
And now, when your child ask you what is TAQWA, answer with sincerity and be proud. TAQWA is when we always do good things even when no one is watching, as we know Allah is with us.
Perhaps this is not the best and accurate answer. But, personally I feel the touch as I say this to them. That makes me understand, I must feel and embrace it before the children do. I am the ‘model’ and I have to show the right way.
And when they ask where is Allah, answer with faith and confidence. “He is always with us, as long as we remember Him, He will remember us more. He is always with us, anywhere, everywhere.”
The answer must come from your heart and let it flow with your blood. Let yourself say it clearly, and you will find that your children are holding your hand to ‘jannah’.
Of course human error is there and the margin is very high. And I remember how I have to remind myself to calm down and to apologize to them as I made mistakes, quite often. I could be too angry and irritated at times. I shouted sometime when things are bad. And I realized, I was just too tired and emotionally disturbed.
I could be arrogant at times as a mother, thinking that I know best of what I do. And I realized that it is not true, when my children asked me, “Mak, have you solat zohor?” when the clock shows 2.30pm and I was busy punching the keyboard on my laptop.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for the children that you ‘granted’ to be with me. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a better ‘khalifah’. I know that many are longing to have children and many children….
Thank you Allah, for making the path in my life not to be that easy. As that makes me remember to be better and not just live life simply.
Thank you Allah for the past journey and for the future. And know that the best planner is YOU and you will always listen to my prayer.
Thank you Allah for all the people and things given to me.
May I be strong really and ‘jannah’ is my destiny.