Assalamualaikum.
Dear friends,
It was a pleasure to have a busy schedule. At times, we should be grateful as we have things to do and people around us to be with. Though, we could be irritated and annoyed in certain situation, there are always a positive side of what happened.
Recently, a friends asked on how can we as parents develop a child who loves to be successful in what they do?
Initially, I thought that the ‘success’ which she meant was for a specific achievement or academic excellent. It took me a while to figure out myself as parent. What have I done to encourage and my children to enjoy success and have the perseverance towards success?
I realised that as parents, most of the time, we are not aware and conscious of what we do. In other words, our actions and words are impulsive. This probably happened as we ourselves have been brought up in that manner.
Well, with this in mind, let us see what we can do at home with our children. There could be some simple yet ordinary actions and words which we normally used to our child who is as young as 2 years old. Let us find out what normally we do which actually have helped to encourage them enjoying success and continuously strive for success.
1. Give them space
All married couple will be ready with lots of preparation when they know they are expecting a new baby at home. You can see that some parents do provide specific room and areas for their children. As they grow, they do need space to move and explore. By giving then enough space to grow, we as parents have actually giving the encouragement for our children to enjoy being successful.
As our young children learn to walk, we ensure the area and space is save for them. That is already a way how we encourage our children to enjoy success.
As they learn how to walk, we will be by their side and catch them when they fall. Then, we tell them happily that they good and ask them to try a few more steps.
As our children learn to speak their first words, we ask them to repeat and say a few more other words.
Without realizing, we have been encouraging our children everyday to achieve success.
2. Provide appropriate tools
When our children are about to reach to the next developmental level, we as parents will normally starts to provide tools for them.
- Rattles and soft toys.
- Soft or small book.
- Crayon and colour pencils.
- Books and storybooks.
Well, the list go on as the children grow. By providing tools for our children, we have already giving the encouragement for them to enjoy achieving success in what they do.
3. Fill in their emotional tank
Above all, the most important part of filling our children emotional tank is the essence for the success of our children in life, for life.
Let me share the 5 love languages that we could find out from our children. This is the language that they use to show love to us as adult and at the same time they understand that language too. Knowing this, we are then able to speak the same language with them.
a. Physical touch
Children who show their love by touching and loves to be touched. They enjoy hugs, kisses and tickle. You will notice that some children ask you to hug and request for you to carry them.
These children are communicating their love through touches and would appreciate the same language from others.
For example, my 2 year old daughter loves to cuddle and hug. Every time she ends or completes activities and games she will come to me and asked to be hugged. She could also be easily put to sleep when you pat her back or simply stroking her hair.
b. Quality time
Children who show their love by choosing to spend time with you over other things. In a situation when you ask your children whether they want to go to play with the next door girls, but instead choose to stay home with you playing snake and ladder is an example.
Some children love their parents to be around with them. They love to sit with their father watching TV and waiting for their mother cooking in the kitchen.
They enjoy being called for dinner and lunch together at home. If they were offered to go out, they will prefer to follow and be with you rather than somebody else.
c. Gifts
Children who show their love by giving to others. Some of them love to make cards, drawings and things to adults. They do expect you to give and receive items and tangible things as a show of love to them.
Gifts are not necessarily involve cost. Some children love to play with boxes. By collecting different types of boxes and give it to the child, is already a gift. Some children love collectibles items such as shell, bottle caps and other recycle items. Do get some of those items and collect them, which later can be given as a gift to the child. It is already a gift.
Gifts are tangible items which the child love to have and not necessarily involve cost.
d. Words of encouragement
Children who enjoy praising you are also children who needs praises and words of encouragement as the show of love. They need great words such as ‘thank you’, ‘your drawing is good’, ‘your homework is neat’, ‘your shirt is clean’ and many more.
There are many more encouraging words can be used to show love. Well, just use the right one at the right time for a specific positive action shown by the children. Then, you have communicate your love to him!
e. Act of service
There are children who love to serve and help you when they want to communicate love to you. They are very helpful, love to do things for you and could be very protective.
For example, my 7 year old daughter love to assist me to clean up, clear up and arrange things. She will offer her help every now and then. There are times when I found that she care for her little sister by helping me to get towel, diaper and shirt for her little sister without having me giving her the instruction.
Dear friends,
Base on the above 5 love languages, you will find the most significant language used by your child. Remember, each child is different.
Allocate time to observe your children and find out which language of love does your child communicating with you.
Insyaallah, you will be able to communicate with the same language with your children.
