A day in a child’s life will always be a learning process. Be it at home, in the school, day care centre and even at their grandparent’s place.
Well, as simple as smiling is an experience to them. In a typical daily life, we do treat our children base on our own early childhood life experience. Most of the time, that is the way our own parents treated us.
I learnt that many of our life experience lead us to choose to take a very minimal of ‘social risk’.
What is that? What does it mean by ‘social risk’?
Being scolded or humiliated is a risk. This is what we called as ‘social risk’. It becomes and bigger ‘social risk’ for a person if that could happened in public.
A child who always being scolded will feel humiliated. A child could be humiliated even without being scolded. A child’s self confidence and esteem could be easily damaged.
Without much realization, most of us as adults do scold our own children publicly.
A child who might not be able to tell an adult their feelings and needs will normally end up crying or show tantrums. Most of the time, we as adult thought that they are just being ‘naughty’ and lazy.
We talk about their bad habits to other parents or our friends while they are looking on without feeling any guilt. Oh, they are just kids! It is OK. That is what many adults thought.
Like it or not, the fact that a child learns through imitation is undoubted.
They indirectly learn that it is OK to scold people in public. It is OK to say and talk bad about others with other people.
At the same time, unconsciously, their self esteem was damaged. They slowly lost their confidence. This will lead them to withdraw from taking the ‘risk’.
They would rather avoid meeting their own parents or other adults. They become so concern on ‘What if people scold me?”, “What if people laugh at me?”, “What if I am wrong?”, and the list continues…
How could we develop a child who is adventurous?
How could we develop a child who is expressive?
How could we develop a child who is confident?
How could we develop a child who is able to learn from mistakes?
How could we develop a child who is strong emotionally?
How could we develop a child who is creative and can think out of the box?
How could we develop a child who is going to lead?
How could we develop a child as a KHALIFAH?
How could be so sure that the world will be a better world, without us as adults, learn how to keep this ‘social risk’ in control?
We used to certain ways and things that we do. However, there is nothing impossible to do.
Insyaallah, a new year with a new resolution. We will be the strongest advocates for our children to maintain their self esteem high.
Let us STOP scolding and humiliating our children and other people too!
Note: Inspired by Puan Ainon Mohd, Kursus Mendorong Pelajar Corot Teknik Nabi Muhammad, 17 Disember 2011, De Palma Hotel Ampang.
Text by : Noraminah Omar